Drown your Sorrows
by Faith1
Summary: A few months after the wars end and Duo helps Heero deal with normal life. But taking Heero to a club turns out to have more complications than imagined...In which Heero gains his confindence on the dance floor and Quatre gets mouthy when drunk,Yaoi, 2x1
1. Chapter 1

Parings – 1+2, 2x1 

Warnings – Yaoi, angst

Notes – Hey all!  Well I've been thinking about writing this for a long while and I finally got some of it down!  I hope you like it!  Feedback would be appreciated!  This is written from Heero's POV, I've tried to keep him as in character as possible!

Enjoy!

_Wine is fine_

_But whiskeys quicker_

_Suicide is slow with liquor_

            I don't know a lot of things.  I don't know why guilt is so persistent.  I don't know why the insomnia started.  I don't know why when I did actually manage to sleep I always woke up screaming.  I don't know a lot of things.

            I know how this started though.  Like most of the bittersweet things in my life it started with Duo.  Duo and his hyperactivity, his contagious energy, his cunning way of wrapping everyone around his little finger.  Of course I objected when he first asked me to visit a nightclub with him.  We have a little game Duo and I; he asks, I say no and then he eventually changes my mind.  I think he likes the challenge.  

            A nightclub of all places.  I didn't know what I had agreed to really.  I was fresh out of a war and so cynically naïve it was sickening.  Duo bought me appropriate clothes and told me what time to be ready for.  As always in those first few months I looked at the evening as a mission.  I set myself prep time; which involved showering and sliding myself into tight leather trousers and a fitted black shirt; and was ready to go on schedule.  

            Duo dragged me out to a non-descript taxi by my wrist and I took the time to appreciate his get up for the evening.  Clinging black jeans, ripped in choice places to tease with the vision of supple flesh beneath, black leather jacket hiding whatever lay beneath.  What my eyes were drawn to the most was his hair, braided only half-way down its length as the rest danced in the air, wild and free.

            The journey is somewhat hazy.  I remember arriving at the chosen club and seeing a long queue tailing away down the side of a building.  Grip still tight on my wrist, Duo walked straight up to the door ignoring angry shouts and wolf-whistles alike.  He talked and flirted with the guards in that same easy way he did with everyone and we were admitted almost immediately.  As I walked through the doorway, out of the dark and into darkness, a large red sign caught my eyes.

No admittance to under 21's.

Duo's charm could always be counted on to get him exactly were he wanted to be.  

            The noise hit me straight away.  A pounding heavy beat that I could feel in my very bones.  I was dragged to a hatch in the wall where I stood and watched as Duo spoke to a sullen red-headed woman.  He peeled off the leather jacket and handed it to her with a quick flash of a grin.  A long-sleeved black mesh top covered his upper body.  Perfectly comfortably with the amount of skin exposed he turned and beamed at me excitedly.

            "Ready for the plunge Heero?"

            Without waiting for my answer he pulled me through a set of double doors and took me from the darkness, into mayhem.  My senses were on fire.  The sound level quadrupled.  I felt my body shudder as the noise physically passed through me.  Lights flashed and twisted in time with the pounding music, revealing hundreds of people, smiling, dancing, drinking.  

            Duo led me to one of the many bars and found to stools for us to perch on while we waited to be served.  I know my eyes were wide with shock as I tried to take everything in.  I know Duo's eyes danced with laughter as he revelled in my astonishment.  I had spent the war amazing him and the other pilots.  He would spend the rest of his life amazing me.

            "One double JD and a -" He looked at me questioningly.  I cast a glance behind the bar.  The only alcohol I had ever tried was wine or champagne and this wasn't the type of place to serve either.

            "The same?"  What I had meant to be a statement came out as a question.  Duo burst into laughter at my response.  I couldn't help feeling a stab of hurt.

            "And a bottle of Stella for the gentleman!" Duo turned to me with a teasing smile as the barman went to retrieve the order.  "Maybe next time Hee-chan!  You ain't ready for the big boys drink yet!"  I scowled at him as he paid for the drinks and took mine grudgingly.  

            The slight Duo had delivered earlier made me feel exceptionally stubborn as I downed my third bottle and ignored Duo's repeated implorations for me to get up and dance with him.  He was several drinks ahead of me and gave up on the game much sooner than I anticipated.  When a beautiful young woman approached him and asked him to dance he took up her offer in a heart beat.  As he disappeared into the crowd he looked back only to order me to "Stay there and behave!"

            Resent swept over me as I sat on my barstool, alone in the crowd.  I placed my empty bottle on the bar and looked up to catch the eye of one of the men behind the bar.

            "What'll it be?"  My eyes scanned the upside down bottles once more but it helped me no more than it had the last time.  I looked back at the impatient man and decided to follow the adage, "it never hurts to ask".

            "What's the strongest you've got?" The question was a rather bold one on my part but Duo's earlier comment still had me riled and the urge to fit in was overwhelming.  With a smirk the bartender strolled over to the wide collection of alcohol and returned swiftly.  I handed over my money and received a small glass of green liquid in return.

            "Slam!  Slam!  Slam!  Slam!" Female voices raised high above the music next to me and I turned to observe a group of young looking women surrounding one of their friends.  The woman at the centre of their attention had a line of the small glasses spread out on the bar in front of her, each filled with a different coloured liquid.  I watched as she lifted the first to her mouth and drank it swiftly, banging the glass down on the counter as she finished.  She continued the process until all the glasses were drained; her friends cheering with excitement.  I looked back down at my own solitary glass, bought it to my lips and drank the liquid in one fluid motion.  I slammed my glass down on the bar, mimicking the girls actions, as the liquid burned its way down my throat and nearly caused me to heave.

            After a second the most incredible warmth spread through my veins.  I was one of the most amazing feelings I have ever experienced.  I closed my eyes for a moment to steady myself as the alcohol rushed to my head.  Smirking, I ordered the same again, determined to show one Duo Maxwell _exactly_ what Heero Yuy could handle.

To be Continued . . .

Well?  What'd ya think?  Good, bad, stupid?  Let me know! ^_^


	2. Chapter 2

Thank yous – Mysticheero, zola phoenix and Cherrii . . .thanks for the support!  *huggles*

            It was a most peculiar feeling.  I still can't describe it, no matter how many times I reached that level of intoxication.  I rose to my feet and had to remain stationary for a moment as I waited for my head to catch up.  I scanned the large room, searching for my braided companion.  A moronic smile refused to leave my lips as I thought of him and somehow I couldn't quite focus enough to care.

"Hey there handsome!" A distinctly female voice called over the still pounding beat of the music.  I turned to face a diminutive brunette who looked as under-aged as me.

"What?" The volume of my voice shocked my, exuberant exclamations being more Duos' forte than mine.  The girl laughed at my abruptness and I found myself laughing along with her.  It had been years since I last laughed like that.  The next thing I knew she had hold of my arm in that same grip Duo had used earlier and was forcefully dragging me into the wildly pulsating fray that was the dance floor.  I followed dumbly, stumbling as I crashed into someone.  After threading her way through the throng she spun to face my and began to dance.  I watched silently for a moment before informing her of the thought that had been bothering me.

"I don't think I usually dance!"  She grinned and reached up to link her arms behind my neck, standing on tiptoe, she whispered in my ear.

"Just let yourself go with the music!"

And I did.

By the time Duo found me again I was lost in the rhythm.  Eyes closed and grinding against the woman in my arms to the primal beat of that saturated the air.  Nothing mattered anymore, just the rhythm, the power and the heat.  This was freedom, this was peace.

"Someone's been busy!" A laughing voice yelled next to me.  I spun to meet sparkling violet eyes and couldn't, didn't want to, stop the grin that split my face.  Duo had never looked more breath-taking.  His striking eyes were fever-bright, face flushed with pleasure and framed by whisps of chestnut hair that had escaped its binding.  My dancing partner forgotten I turned to face the American and mimicked the girls earlier motions.  I reached up to wind my arms around his neck and thread my fingers through his hair.  Raising myself up I bought my lips to the side of his face and inhaled his distinct scent.

"Dance with me Maxwell," I growled.  "That's an order!"  Then in a move that I would never have dared, never have dreamed and couldn't resist, I slowly traced the curve of his ear with the tip of my tongue.  Not missing the slight shiver that ran through his frame I pulled back to face eyes filled with both humour and lust.

"Yes sir!" He pronounced smartly and then my head was spinning as he whipped me round and then it was just us, the music and the alcohol pulsing through my veins.

*          *          *

            It was three am by the time we stumbled into the safehouse, much to the displeasure of our housemates.  Either we lost our keys or we forgot how to use them because the next thing I remember was Wufei's face, marred by displeasure, as Duo fell straight into his arms.  As for me, well I was quite content to sit and laugh as the Chinese boy struggled with the hysterical American.  Quatre and Trowa appeared in hallway, the blonde with a smile on his face, the brunette a frown.  The pair of them frog marched me into the living room as Wufei tried to shepherd a very drunk and very hyperactive Duo Maxwell down the hallway.

            I sat on the sofa, Duo bounced in his seat next to mine.  Wufei leaned against the wall, glaring at us for disturbing his sleep.  Quatre and Trowa emerged from the kitchen to press steaming mugs of coffee into our hands.  Duo gazed at his resentfully.

            "This," he stated dramatically. "Is not what I ordered!" I snickered quietly and he turned to give me an appreciative smile.  He leaned forward in an attempt to kiss me but unfortunately miscalculated and ended up colliding his forehead with mine.  I jerked back sharply and sent hot coffee flying over the sofa and carpet.

            "I've got just the solution for that!" Duo cried, before bounding off upstairs despite being rather unsteady.  Quatre clapped a hand over his eyes in despair and I felt a tremendous wave of remorse sweep over me.  The feeling disappeared immediately as Duo reappeared waving what looked suspiciously like a bottle of Jack Daniels in the air.  A grin appeared on my face and I caught Trowa watching me with a strange expression on his face.  My eyes felt heavy as exhaustion spread through my body and I fell swiftly into darkness, a smile on my face, as Wufei and Quatre wrestled with Duo for the whiskey.  For the first time since Odin Lowe took me under his wing I fell into sleep feeling safe, secure, loved.  I liked that feeling.

*          *          *

            I awoke the next morning to squint at the bright sunlight which filtered through the room.  My mouth was parched and dry; a slight headache filled my skull.  I glanced at the clock to see with shock that it was past midday.  Slowly looking around the room I shared with Duo I noticed that his bed was empty.  My face burned as I recalled blatantly flirting with the braided boy the night before.  I shook my head in disgust and attempted to rise from the bed.  My head swam in protest of movement as I slowly made my way to the en suite bathroom.  The sickly sweet odour of vomit stung my senses as I opened the bathroom door.  Duo was laid out unconscious on the tiled floor next to the toilet.  I reached down and gently shook him awake.  Violet eyes slowly and reluctantly opened.  He sat up gingerly, nose wrinkled in distaste at the smell of the room.  

            "Oops," he murmured quietly.  "Guess I didn't quite make it to bed last night then!  Do us a favour and go brew some coffee will ya Hee-chan?"  I aquisted and made my way downstairs.  Thankfully there was no sign of the other ex-pilots.  Putting on the coffee for Duo I poured myself a large glass of water.  My mouth was so dry, I felt like I hadn't tasted water in days.  I drained the glass in one long gulp and frowned as a wave of sickness coursed through me.  I gripped the sink in a white knuckled hold as I threw the water straight back up.  I breathed easily for a moment before my body was gripped by convulsions yet again.  Involuntary tears leaked from behind my closed eyes as I struggled to bring myself under control.

            A comforting hand rubbed my back slowly as I finally stopped heaving.  I turned to see Duo and burned in humiliation.  He gave me a reassuring smile and turned to pour two cups of coffee.  I sank into a chair and studied the table with great interest.  My headache was gone, the thirst remained.

            "When you're dehydrated the best thing to do is take little sips, or just suck on an ice cube or something," Duo informed me as he pushed the coffee in front of me.  I knew that; it just hadn't occurred to me that I might be dehydrated.  "Man, I can't believe I'm not more hung-over!  I was so wrecked last night!  And you . . . you were amazing!  I never would have though you had moves like that!  I'm gonna have to get you drunk more often!"  As Duo rambled I couldn't help the warm feeling bought on by his praise.  He didn't mention the ear-licking incident for which I was grateful.  The night had been one of the best I had ever experienced, the best if I was to be honest.  The bout of vomiting being a small price to pay for the intense vagueness of dancing and drinking.  I found myself agreeing with Duo; I was going to have to drink more often.

              
            " . . . And I'm gonna have to apologise to Wuffers too, what a joy that'll be!  It's his fault really; no one comes between Shinigami and liquor unless they have a death wish!"

            What I didn't realise then, as I sat and happily listened to Duo recount the highlights of the evening, was that this was to be the first morning after of many.  Already all I could think of was when I could get my next drink.

*          *          *

            Two days later.  Once again Duo was the start of it all.  He sneaked out of the house and returned with two bags full of spirits.  He declared that we were having an impromptu "guy's night in"; having already found out that none of us had any plans for the evening and therefore no decent grounds for refusal.  So it happened that the five of us ended up sat around the kitchen table, alcohol at the ready, as Wufei acted as dealer in game of blackjack.  Duo had been inspired and decided that we should use shots as our currency in the game.  When it ended we got to drink our winnings.  Quatre was looking at his collection dubiously.  

            In the next hand I received the jack of clubs and the ace of spades; blackjack.  On that note we decided to end.

            "Gentlemen!  Your attention please!" Duo stood, picking up one of his shots as he did.  "First of all, well done Wu-man for kicking the crap out of us all at cards!"  Wufei smiled, uncommonly good natured after his overall victory.  "And I want to propose a toast!  Here's to the four most amazing people I know!"  Quatre rose to his feet, eyes shining.

            "Here's to us!" he declared and downed his shot, gasping at the aftershock.  Trowa stood up next to his lover.

            "To us," He drank his own alcohol without so much as a grimace.  Wufei smiled from his seat and raised his glass in mock salute.

            "To the Gundams and their pilots!" As Wufei downed his spirit in a fluid motion I rose to my feet.

            "To peace." As I drank my shot my eyes caught with Duo's and he grinned at me.  My reaction to the powerful kick of the liquid was the same as Quatre's and it was more that obvious that the two of us were the least experienced when it came to the wonders of alcohol.

*          *          *

            "Truth or dare . . . Quatre?" Duo asked enthusiastically.  Three hours has passed since our toast and we had only Duo's bottle of Jack Daniels left so far untouched on the table.

            "Truth!" Duo pouted in disappointment at Quatre's answer; we had all learned in a hurry not to accept a dare from Maxwell's demon.  Duo frowned thoughtfully, then grinned.

            "Where is the kinkiest place you and Tro' have ever got down and dirty?" The blonde blushed and laughed at the blunt question, mischief glinting in his eyes.

            "Well . . . there was that time we ended up fucking like bunnies in your bed!  Mmm, and I have to say, black satin sheets are defiantly a turn on!"  The room erupted in laughter at Quatre's slurred answer and Duo's shocked expression.

            "Heero!  Truth or dare?" Quatre's face was flushed, eyes still mischievous, as his attention turned to me.  I opted for the safer option of truth, as far gone as I was I could still recognise that in this mood the blonde was likely to be as creative as a certain American.

            "Okay then . . .What do you _really_ feel for Duo?" My eyes widened, alcohol fogged brain startled.  Did he know?

            "What?  He's my best friend, that's all!" I declared firmly, my face burning, studiously ignoring Duo.  It was not the most convincing lie I had ever told.  Not that it would have may any difference.  Quatre grinned at me and I could see that he wanted to stir up trouble.  He know and he was going to make sure everyone else did too.

            "You liar!" Quatre giggled, pointing an accusatory finger at me.  I glared, willing him to back off, but had no such luck.  "That is not all!  You . . ." he paused for dramatic effect and I wished for a gun; to shoot him or myself, I wasn't sure.  "You love him!"  I was out of my chair and on my feet, face red with anger that he'd actually gone through with it and revealed something so personal.

            "You have no right," I growled, knowing he'd been prying into my emotions.  He simply giggled and started chanting "Heero loves Duo," unaware of the fury that was building in me.

            "Shut up!" I ground out.  I didn't look to see how the others were reacting, all my attention was focused on the blonde.  I felt something snap inside me and the next thing I felt was hands pulling me away from the Arabian, restraining me as I tried to lunge for him again.  Growling in frustration I tore myself away from their grips and stalked out of the kitchen, out of the backdoor and into the night.

            I paced restlessly up and down.  How dare he say that?  How dare they stop me from killing him?  My hands shook with the longing to wrap around Quatre's neck.  I couldn't go back in there.  Couldn't face Quatre without killing him.  Couldn't  face Duo without killing myself.  I needed to go somewhere, needed to get away.  Thoughts of the club filled me.  The peace of mind I had felt there calling to me.  I headed for the garage, hotwired Wufei's motorbike and roared away from the house.  I pushed the bike to it's limits, tearing along the winding roads.  Only the experience of piloting a Gundam while suffering from severe blood loss gave me enough control not to crash.

            Then I was dancing.  Lost in the crowd, I lost myself.  Only having enough money to get inside I relied on other to buy my drinks.  After a dance with me they were more than willing to provide me with more alcohol.  My head spun.  I didn't have a care in the world.  I forgot about my past, the Gundams, Quatre, Duo, the safehouse, even my own name.  I stumbled happily through the club.

            When it came time to leave I panicked.  I couldn't remember where I had left the bike.  A group of men surrounded me, offering to take care of me, inviting me to a private party.  Strong arms encircled my waist and pulled me towards and alley.  Mind blank I allowed myself to be pulled away from the crowd and into the dark . . .

To be Continued . . .

R&R please!


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